Today I woke up after a rough night of back pain, which is a little unusual for me since I learned to tolerate my back pain a long time ago. As I got up several time through the night, as I usually do for potty breaks, I would get emotional and think I just don't know if I am going to make it another 5-1/2 weeks. I mean everyday something new arises or I become more aware of my changing body and what it is doing. The back pain just started a few days ago, but last night it was at its all time high on the pain scale. No, I will not take any medication for this, because I just don't want to deal with that. I am praying that no damage will be reopened, because of my watermelon in front that I am carrying. Over the years I really did good in getting my back in good shape, doing what my ortho doctor wanted me to do. At this point though, given I am preggo with triplets, I know I can not do a thing to help my situation...that is until the babies are born. Anywho, I had that to deal with through the night, and then my emotional thoughts about how I didn't know if I could make it another 5-1/2 weeks. Oh, and then there is my breathing. Woo wee it is a struggle with baby C pushing my lungs up in the my chest cavity. I wonder what it would look like and how squashed they would look right now on a MRI or X-Ray.
Anywho, the last time that I got up in the night I just was crying and thought Lord I just don't know. Then I felt God speak to me and say, "You can do it with ME. All things are possible with ME by your side." So I then went back to bed, and just thanked God for everything. I have so much to be thankful for right now, and actually do all the time. Even during hard times in my life I have. But, right now I am thankful for help, God's mercy and Grace, and all the prayers going up for me and the babies. It is so so much to even think about, and I am even tearing up right now writing this. But, I am truly thankful for everyone that is touching my life. This week my Grandmother has helped me and Rusty out so much. Although, she doesn't think it is that much, it really is. She has done dishes, laundry, cooked us dinner the past three nights, takes Beau to school, and it really means a lot. As some of you know she retired from Chesapeake just a couple of weeks ago. With that said, I prayed about her coming over to help, because she just retired and has a lot that she still is doing, and needs to take care of. Thankfully, God has provisioned her time to take care of her things that she needs to do, and come over here too. As I watched her take Beau off to school this morning I just thanked God for blessing me with her. Right now is a time that most women in my situation have their mother right beside them. So at times I feel my mothers presence with my Gram beside me. WOMEN you know what I mean about this. Daughters just need their mothers, Grams, during times like these.
Although I have been emotional this morning I am THANKFUL on this THURSDAY!
*Sidenote - I have to add that I am thankful for Rusty too, which is a given. :) He works so so hard, and I am thankful that God has blessed him with such great knowledge for what he does, for taking care of me when he gets home, and as a father to our little precious boy Beau.
Tiffany, Hang in there, You can do it!!! You have done soooo well so far, don't give up now. The pressure on your back may be becoming more intense because you are trying to stay down and not do anything so you aren't moving around and our backs need movement. So sorry your back is hurting - give it to God. And just sing and read to your babies to help your time pass by. Your Gram loves helping you too, I am sure. So allow all of these wonderful people to help you get those babies here and you know the longer they get to stay inside you, the less time and complications they will have to spend in NICU when they come! Just think of yourself as NICU for those babies. Easy for me to say, I only carried 1 at a time! ha ha :) Being pregnant is one of the most wonderful miracles God has given us women so you are just carrying out one of God's miracles! Wow! How exciting is that?!
ReplyDeleteJanet is right- If you can, try to think of each day as deducting NICU time. During my pregnancy I was told that one day pregnant is equivalent to 3 days NICU. Hang in, and welcome those that offer to help. I know you would be the first to volunteer if they needed you. Hugs and prayers my friend!
ReplyDeleteThank you both!
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